Wisdom, Philosophy and the water drop travelling across oceans

The white, he noticed the white. It saddened him a bit, and he engaged into efforts to cover it up, hide it beneath the black. Started trying to solace himself. Doesn't white mean grey too. Isn't grey good. Hasn't the transition not been fruitless.
He looked at the blacks full of gaiety and laughter. A smirk swept across his self. The ones who are yet to see, yet to learn, yet to fall and yet to grey, or may be white. This made him happy, a wee bit happy.
The white returned soon or perhaps it was always there. It reminded him of the ticking sand Tee. He had to find something, someone.
He noticed a place all white, as pure as silver, untainted silver. The white, bright as silver but with no expression. Sunk into itself, withdrawn and withered. This white was different than his own, it was all white, all pure and it had no black to look upto. This made him happy even a bit content.
He yawned and started brushing his white.
As he turned the tap off a water droplet sparkled and smiled. Perhaps it smirked and then flushed itself down the drain.

My notes on Atheism

Being an Atheist requires so much more than what believers think. I really wish there is some meaning or purpose of life and the aftermath of death.
Isn't it scary to think that there were people like us who breathed the same air, who ate the same food, who talked the same language and wore the same clothes and they no longer exist. They even thought like us. To me it sounds like a sad disconnect. We can know what they thought but can't converse with them. We can identify ourselves with them but not see them in person. I am a perfectionist, used to be till a moment ago. But everything seems hazy now. If there is no God:
(1) Everything is governed by a wee bit of human effort and significant proportions of chance.
(2) There is no ultimate purpose of life.
(3) Good deeds may not always be rewarded, sins unnoticed and done carefully would be beneficial.
(4) We and our loved ones could die anyday subject to chance.
The biggest mystery that I face is death. Somehow I am not able to be comfortable with the fact that death is a chance based ailment which can strike anyday, anytime to anyone. And what happens after death. Do we just deconstitute to C, N, H, O and P. Where do the thoughts go. Do they snap as soon as the neck snaps. Its all mysterious.
Being a staunch atheist requires courage. And yes, I definitely believe that there are more reasons not to believe in God than to believe in it.

I have read only one article on Atheism in thoroughness, Bhagat Singh's. And I can see his doubts, his disbeliefs, his problems with God being identical to mine. Read his views below:

If, as you believe, there is an almighty, omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent God-who created the earth or world, please let me know why did he create it ? This world of woes and miseries, a veritable, eternal combination of numberless tragedies: Not a single soul being perfectly satisfied.

From the dungeons of prisons, from the stores of starvation consuming millions upon millions of human beings in slums and huts, from the exploited laborers, patiently or say apathetically watching the procedure of their blood being sucked by the Capitalist vampires, and the wastage of human energy that will make a man with the least common sense shiver with horror, and from the preference of throwing the surplus of production in oceans rather than to distribute amongst the needy producers…to the palaces of kings built upon the foundation laid with human bones.... let him see all this and let him say "All is well".

I ask why your omnipotent God, does not stop every man when he is committing any sin or offence? He can do it quite easily. Why did he not kill war lords or kill the fury of war in them and thus avoid the catastrophe hurled down on the head of humanity by the Great War? Why does he not just produce a certain sentiment in the mind of the British people to liberate India? Why does he not infuse the altruistic enthusiasm in the hearts of all capitalists to forgo their rights of personal possessions of means of production and thus redeem the whole laboring community – nay the whole human society from the bondage of Capitalism. You want to reason out the practicability of socialist theory, I leave it for your almighty to enforce it.

He thought so much like me, so much like many of us. He is no longer there. What did he think would happen after death. Its not very clear, we have some hints though.

But what am I to expect? I know the moment the rope is fitted round my neck and rafters removed, from under my feet. That will be the final moment, that will be the last moment. I, or to be more precise, my soul, as interpreted in the metaphysical terminology, shall all be finished there. Nothing further.

This post lies unfinished like everything everywhere is. I am sleepy and in a hurry as always, but whats the point anyways. I have to die someday, anyday with no purpose no meaning and no consequence.